Ever since the news of my book went viral in India, I have been inundated with requests to file criminal charges. I even get would-be official letters from unnamed officials on plain paper containing unsigned subtle threats – the same message being circulated in the media.
Whatever I do, I must consider my personal safety.
In my opinion, in the modern world, legal justice is not about dharma but about who has more money, the better lawyers and more influence. It is about the collusion of personal interests, business, politics, fame and power. Such legal procedures can drag on for decades affecting all parties involved, whether winners or losers. I am not interested in participating in that kind of justice. I believe in higher forms of justice and karma.
Thus, in spite of all the confusion and constant solicitation, I feel the need to state once again what I have already mentioned in the Tehelka article as well as in the Kairali People TV interview :
1. Everything I have written in my book “Holy Hell” is the absolute truth and I stand by my words 100%.
2. It is my personal story and covers twenty years spent as personal attendant to my ex-Guru. I have simply shared “some” of what I witnessed and experienced.
3. The book was also written as a warning to spiritual seekers about the dangers of blind faith. The focus of my life has always been about spiritual lessons and evolving as a human being.
4. I do not seek punishment for any individuals or institutions. I am not on any crusade.
5. My book is not an attack on any person, institution, country or religion. My personal story is told from within the context of my life, from the setting of my surroundings and its functioning.
6. I have no religious, nor political, nor judicial agenda or affiliations.
7. I have acted on my own impulse and on my own conscience, and am not in concert with any other person or organization.
8. I love India, Indians, Hinduism, not exclusively of course. In fact, I dedicated twenty years of my life to the same.
India is a Rights-based country, the largest democracy in the world and can boast itself of a dynamic and strong civil society. Therefore, it has all the necessary institutions in place to ensure a healthy and legally functioning society in which institutions are accountable and individuals protected. Let any person or any legal body who seeks clarity and transparency do so in their own name. My little person is not needed for that. I am looking after myself and my own actions. I am not responsible for the right actions or the wrong-doings of the world.
By experiencing what I did, by sharing what I know, I have paid its price. I have done my part.
Hello Gail. late in finding this but grateful to be made aware. The world so needs women as spiritual leaders, as in pre patriarchal times. So is a great disappointment for me. However you are there! and I am here… being as true as we can be. I hope you will reply to my request sent via your Contact page. warmly Maureen. a northern friend.
thank you so much for your book.
I believe your book and I feel bad for all the bad experiences you went through. I pray for your well being and happiness. Love.
thank you gentle sister for your strength and courage you are a inspiration to us we simply love you for who you are yes truth always prevails
You have done a right thing. All such institutions are making money only and they never preach anything. If at all anybody wants to know about Hinduism they can get it from Vedhas and Upanishads . Following this fraudulent godmen will bring only miseries !
I am an Indian boy with strong faith in our scriptures and also know the power of karma.
Whatever happened to you would balance your previous life karmas and whatever wrong people are doing on name of God can escape or fool only this world and not the supreme God.
I am really sad to hear whatever happened and at the same time salute your courage.
I know some real saints they leave in solitude and far from materiality……and people who do wrong things on account of religion are killing our sacred religion….
I got a damn silence and fury against these people after reading your book.
May God bless you best time forever and that will happen for sure….
Even if all the allegations against Gail were to be true, then how come the supposedly all knowing mother (Amma) did not detect it in the first place? How did she end up giving monastic vows to someone indiscriminately? If Amma were really all knowing then how come she did not know what went on behind her back? It shows openly that Amma is only attracted to white flesh, as it brings her more money and fame!
I (born 1958 in Germany, 195cm, thin and athletic) was the guy who was meditating the whole day every day. I was really excited to read you story. The inner path is somehow difficult to understand and I had the fortune that Bhagwan was my first Guru. I came on the inner path through my second near death experience through wrong treatment of a doctor….Then I lost my baby…huge agony and then I met a crazy friend and we did the craziest exercise and I gained the Kundalini… So I did expect it… Then Meditation for the whole day was easy… Four 3/4year retreats where I was meditating full time followed. Before I went to Amma I was in a concert of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan he gave me for free a Satory…. A half year later I was immersed in Allah for 3 Month and then it changed to Kali and so I was coming to Amma first I got her vision and then I found her…. Alone in the last 12 years I had faced 4 times Death and God saved my life even I saw Kali do so… 5 month ago I was laying in the hospital, my body was total paralyzed nobody could help me again 7 hour later I left the hospital on my own legs… thanks God… Even everything looks very bad, God is always with the Courage people (Theresa from Avila)…. So I have not so much courage then you, for sure. I see a bright future for you. God bless you.
Hello Gail, read your book. thanks for bringing the truth to the public. i feel really wonderful the way people gets carried away by rumours and sheer ignorant advises. You being an educated girl even back in 1980s fell for this then what about the common public in india. Me being an indian and keralite can imagine the boost “amma” got in her success just because white people like you were being passionate disciples of her. It is a funny irony that your being with her itself would have made her a phenomenon who is now.
I admire your courage and I truly believe that you are the one who is enlightened! thank you for sharing your story. It is very important to share the truth….
Since part of Gretchen’s, or Kusuma’s, job at Amritapuri Ashram is to get people fake student visas by falsely claiming that they are engaged in a study program of Yoga and Vedanta, I hope she blushed a little bit when she was writing the allegation that you got married for immigration purposes. I don’t know anything about that, but I do know that these people do 100 shadier, more dishonest things before breakfast. With you in spirit, Gail.
I just finished reading your book, downloaded on my ipad. I do believe everything you said you experienced, I could feel the truth in your writing.
I have a few friends that blindly adore Amma and go to get their hug when she’s in their area.
It would have been nice to believe all the Amma hype, but doesn’t take a lot of discernment to tell there’s something not quite right and sure enough with a little internet searching I found your book.
I understand why it took you so long to write it. I’m about your age and at 19 married someone my gut and heart told me not to. But I was so young and didn’t have a clue about people, life and myself and from a very dysfunctional family. The fear of the unknown can be scarier than the known, that’s why so many abused women stay. Also it’s the water you swim in, you can’t see it clearly.
It took me almost 20 years to leave. I had so many of the same emotions you expressed that kept holding me back from freedom.
It’s like the example:
If you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will leap out right away to escape the danger.
But, if you put a frog in a kettle that is filled with water that is cool and pleasant and then you gradually heat the kettle until it starts boiling, the frog will not become aware of the threat until it is too late. The frog’s survival instincts are geared towards detecting sudden changes.
After almost 20 years since I left, it’s really just in the last couple of years I can see it clearly from a detached standpoint. So some people cannot relate if they haven’t experienced something like that and are quick to say “why did you take so long to write it, or why did it take you so long to leave”.
Thank you for sharing and don’t think twice about the one’s that don’t want to believe it, you wrote it for the ones who want to know “truth”, like me!
Your a beautiful soul and I hope your life always flows with Grace,
Also wanted to mention that after years of reading/listening to so many different spiritual teachers, the only one that resonates with me is the teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti.
A tous je me permets également de conseiller de lire les ouvrages de Krishnamurti, un des rares à nous ouvrir véritablement les portes de la conscience. Faut il encore être
assez humble et intelligent (‘pas intellectuel )pour le comprendre?
Et comme un certain jésus Christ à dit que “ceux qui ont des oreilles entendent” Bien à vous.
Well, I was a “follower” of Krishnamurti regularly attending his Saanen talks. Now I recommend reading Rada Rajgopal’s book “Lives in the Shadow with J. Krishnamurti” (also available in French)…
Thank you for your enlightening book on your experience with Amma. I first met her in 1995 at Fort Flagler where I had an intense ecstatic experience of “oneness” with an ant outside and went to see her every year until 2003. I attributed my “union” with the universe to Amma at the time. It rivalled an LSD experience I’d had years before. I loved it at the time and really enjoyed the bhajans, the food and the satsang. I kissed her feet, brought my young children and was given the name Arun. In 2003, I brought a friend to Seattle and met Amma outside as she was walking into the hall. I said…”Hi Amma”….she looked at me with cold? eyes and said OM Namah Shivaya. I knew at that instant that it was over. The rest of the time there I felt really apart from everyone. In 2005 I tried once more with an uncle of mine at her Ashram in Kalifornia. I thought to myself….what are all these people doing here? I felt totally disconnected and knew I would never return. I’ve thought about my experience with her often and now realize it was but a step on my spiritual journey to wholeness and oneness with the family of humankind. I am now no longer a believer in any religion. What will happen after death is no longer a concern of mine and life here and now in my work, sharing love and affection with family and friends is of true importance.
I’m so sorry to hear about the horrors you experienced in Amma’s world and don’t doubt the veracity of what you say and write. The “God business” is a huge scam and all religions and gurus share love of power and control over others. If there is one thing I could “wave my magik wand” and achieve,it would be to eliminate religionsand their need for greedy control over the “sheep”.
People have such a need for guidance and want to give themselves over to a cause and parental figures like gurus and priests. We have this tribal urge to congregate in groups that goes back to our ancient roots in the distant past. I guess we are all in different plces on our road to understanding and religion is one of those steps. I hope your life now is peaceful and content. You are a very gutsy lady for exposing yourself to the world in your book and I’m sorry for any suffering it may cause you. If you ever feel the urge to have another friend and compatriot in this human maelstrom called society, please feel free to correspond. If you do, I will gladly offer what support I can and in whatever way you need.
In love and compassion……
Thank you for your bravery in writing this book. I was a student of Yogi Bhajan in 1971-72 as a 16 year old high school student. My home life was unstable, so I moved into one of his ashrams in San Rafael, California. I only stayed for 9 months, but in that time, significant damage was done to my nervous system when I had a kundalini awakening from the practices. No measures were taken to guide me or help me on what became a perilous lifetime journey to heal from this experience. In recent years I discovered that he was also sexually and otherwise abusing mainly women within the organization throughout his 3HO years.
There’s a lot of sycophantic praise going on here – not that different to guru cultism. I am not decided yet. I am not an Amma devotee now but neither am I a devotee of any human being. I happened across this site because I was considering visiting Amma’s ashram in Kerala. Having read what I’ve read now, it’s put me off. I have also read Bronte Baxter’s blog, which supports Gail Tredwell’s thesis. It is very sad and unfortunate that ALL people fall prey to dark mind control forces in one way or another, but that can only happen by mutual consent. As adults, we all have the potential to rise above it through Grace.
Gail I have just finished reading your book and must applaud your selflessness in recounting so much of your experience.
Spiritual abuse is so prevalent in many religious organisations and none more so than the plethora of christian fundamentalist evangelical groups who practise ‘shepherding’ of there adherentsof which I too was involved with. Your account has strenghthened my resolve also to share my experiences
Thank you for revealing the truth of these sort of groups. We have our Gurus / Channels of the West that are classified in this same type of BUSINESS / ABUSIVE / GOD relationships. You could even say ALL Christian Churches have their same of abuse relationships… and the SAME money games go on.
Believe me, it is ALL a business.. and MONEY and POWER.. Devotion to anything is a very tricky issue because the DEVOTEE has the power to CREATE.. destroy and expand and PERCEIVE the un-real regardless if it is true /not true.. people PROJECT and see what they want in the face of others.
You can WORSHIP a Mushroom and the POWER of the mind will believe. Smile..
What we each focus on expands. There is all sorts of ABUSE within ALL groups. The choice to STAY… PARTICIPATE…. or LEAVE is within the hands of each person.
Your story is compelling and I am sure you would agree that your CHOICE to stay for years was your choice. You gained something from that relationship. I believe we all GROW UP at some point and simple discard what is no longer needed in our life so we can expand and be greater. The story AFTER IT ALL.. is our experience EXPRESSED.
In closing, ALWAYS REMEMBER, in any HIERARCHY, you are either THE ONE – of ONE of the many devotees. As for being GOD, YES… everyone is GOD, and is SELF-FULLING the needs in each moment.
You can dress in any outfit; name it, dress it and BE it.. how ever you wish…. you are ALWAYS the CENTER POINT.. projecting YOUR STORY. SEE interesting video on Youtube – James Randi Speaks: The Carlos Hoax
Dearest Gail , I know you from my days of following Amma in the US since 1987…I understand your journey and what happened to you from various states of consciousness. You were in a devotional , but abusive relationship with 2 people , but really with yourself, it’s true, as those people are reflections of aspects of yourself, in truth. The devotional side of yourself that Loves God so much that you would come back again and again and take so much abuse, you yourself are Amma, in your consciousness that is there and established.
You experienced a form of rape , but the rest was consenual sex so there can be no law suit or accusations. You were taken advantage of and abused by the entire situation .. it was a set up for this kind of abuse.
I also believed you burned off mountains of samskaras – countless lifetmes of looking for this kind of selfless service , and you don’t have to do that any more.
I hope you have found a meditation technique that makes you self sufficient, able to experience the heights you were able to experience , on your own, through your own transcendence. Transcendental meditation may be a route for you to do that , it has been for so many others… easy and dependent upon no one.
I never understood why Amma wanted people to be addicted to her physical presence. When she is gone they will have nothing ..with access to the transcendent , you have everything whether the Guru is there or not.
I loved your book, believe every word you have said to be your true experience and I think it will save many others from the same
I am feeling you came to this world to educate people and keep them away from these kind of Fradulant self proclaimed Saints in future.
You are blessed soul to be alive and reveal the dark side of AMRITHANANDAMY so that other people could also get inspired and motivated to get out from this BLIND FAITH.
I knew she is a fraud and NO HUMAN in this world could be a GOD. There is no breach or exception to the LAW OF NATURE that is birth, life, and death.
Please take care and have a relaxed life now on discovering the real world which you have missed for last 21 years.
On paper, India is a rights-based country. In practice, it is not.
Two, Ammachi and other gurus like her (such as the late, deceased Satya Sai Baba) brought vast revenues to India, and in that most useful form: hard currencies from the West. Wealth is accumulated upon which all sorts of vested interests can batten on.
Devotees of gurus form large groups to be wooed at election time.
The Indian government and its purchaseable politicians have few incentives to stop these gurus and many incentives to silence or terrorize those who try to tell the truth.
Journalist Suketu Mehta, in his book, Maximum City:Bombay Lost and Found, tells, with sadness, how civic institutions fail to function.
For assistance and protection, citizens, even the richest, look to a patron who has that combination of money, power and leadership, known as “powertoni”.
Though Mehta does not mention her in the book, I suggest that Ammachi has become a wielder of “powertoni”.
What corrupts so many of the rich, commercial gurus in India is that they become nodes for “powertoni”
And India is a part of the world where power equals legitimacy.
Are you willing to take a lie detector test to corroborate what you say? I will believe if you pass it and it will be the best way to prove you are not doing this just to sell a book or have a personal vendetta due to personal reasons. I think many people will be put to rest about doubts they might have if you pass it so it is to your interest to do so for your credibility. I personally am skeptical of people who come out attacking others followed by a book deal yet I am the type that if given proof I don’t keep blindly following someone. Now if you say yes, don’t just say it but do it with an agency such as the police who will be neutral and not a private lie detector tester. The truth shall set you free.
which police you mean Ricardo? police in india..? hahhahahha… good jok…you are kidding…!!! I am from India. i know how police departments work in India.
Gail clearly has said she has no intention to put any body in trouble. but just wrote what she experienced in inda that’s it. if you don’t want to believe, you don’t. I don’t think Gail came to your door to sale her book.
I came to the ashram 2012 and by seeking something else in google I found the message about gayatris book. I asked around the longtimepeople about her and received no nice messages. So I thought, why believing a not known person? I believe what I see, Now 5 years later spending 5 years where , spending lot of money and energy and loosing my health, I realize… so a lot of cheating, run of money and much more love for people can make them more rich and prominent. I lost my trust and see my blind believing because I wanted. My message: dont believe blind because you have a longing for spirituality and a guru. Dont believe because of emotional manipulation with music, ecstatic atmosphere and physical touch. It is only feeding addiction. You can see in the ashram the lovelessness, the strong hierarchical structure makes big difference between people and the big moneyhunting. No real guru would lie about charitable projects to gain more money and loosing the trust of his devotees. I believed to long: this are only the limited devotees doing. She can say no…I waited until I could not close my eyes any more..cheating decicions come direct from her missusing the believe of her so called cildren. I have a shock and need to overcome…
Grow up Ricardo.
What courage it took to speak the truth and share your story. Thank you thank you thank you… You are an inspiration!!
God will punish the wrongdoers as his justice is unbeatable. Please wait for the right time. Be happy and surrender yourself to God instead of individuals. The main problems is that the so called holy people are considered by individuals to be like God whereas each person is equal and no one even Guru is more than any individual person. Have faith in you and God if you have been wronged I request God to help you ascend several steps in the ladder to ascension in this lifetime.
Gail,you have done a great service to humanity by exposing what is happening in one of the well known ashrams in Kerala sta6e.
The best, most important thing to do is share true information widely. There are thousands of people who follow Amma now, or may do so in the future. Gail’s book gives these people information which helps them make informed decisions about whether to be in Amma’s orbit. When people have more true information, they make more intelligent decisions.
There’s little need to use the legal system (i.e., force and threats of force) in order to address Amma’s organization. Simply by spreading the information, by sharing the truth, Gail and others have made it possible for each individual to freely decide if they should support and follow Amma. That’s enough.
The information that Sathya Sai Baba was a serial pedophile was well known for decades, published in Indian newspapers, well documented but still parents came in droves to sacrifice their children to this human scum in hopes they could be blessed with wealth, etc. Anyone who comes on their knees to Ammachi now deserves what they get. But not their children.
It would be amazing to see an English translation of the John Brittas interview. You look so engaged – and so moved in parts – and I’m sure there are many people out there like me who would love to understand all of what you are saying, not just parts,
Warmest to you.
In spite of Gail’s dauntless effort, starting at a very young age, to fix a meaning for life, she could not arrive like any other seeker. An in depth reading of J. Krishnamurti shall definitely carry her to the destination.
I just finished the book, thank you Gail for having the wherewithal to write and publish. I’ve been seeing Sudhamani off &on for 13 years, and the book only confirmed what I’ve always suspected…that she’s a fraud. I’m glad you left, and I firmly believe that when it’s said and done, your devotion was pure even if she was a fake. You were worshipping only your own Self, projected onto her. Your growth, your experiences, they’re all yours. And they’re valid, even if she’s not. 🙂
More Amma-like persons will take advantage if our government does not provide its citizens with basics. Why do people have to rely on god men or god women to fulfill their needs; schools, hospitals, colleges, universities, calamity relief etc. ? At the time of need, people turn to anyone and accept help from any one who can provide them with temporary relief or comfort, and this is where amma-like people take advantage to make themselves known. People’s blind faith then leads them to trust in these god men / women. I wouldn’t blame an individual like amma in this matter but blame those who encourage these kinds of stupidity by supporting them. There are masterminds behind these institutions who get the real advantage…..hope everything comes out in the open soon !!
Salute and prayers for a peaceful life. Truth & dharma will always win.
Religion is a business in name of charity.
I would like to appreciate gail foolish Indians are all blind in religion-ism…
shasi…”indians r not foolish”.. clear out ur statement shashi..
Total population of Hindus in India is more than 80crs. Not even 0.5% of them is going behind this fraudulent godmen. So dont blame all the Hindus!
Gail, you have succeeded in partially opening the eyes of thousands. You are a blessing to thousands of Indians, many though still believe you are an agent and that you were provoked to do what you did. You have done 95% of the work and the balance 5% is the most difficult part…..hope an Indian wakes up to do the needful.
Sanathana Dharma was not meant to be an “organized religion” and was a way of life practised for centuries. Adi Sankara revived it centuries back and the present generation owes it to him and a host of other greats for preserving the value systems. Individuals are not to be worshipped in Sanatana Dharma.
These “saints” of the 21st century who feel they are part of the Dharma are doing more harm than good. If you have exposed one of them, you have done humanity a lot of good.
There are several such across the globe and these people are cheating humanity in the name of religion – by professing Christianity, Islam, Hinduism etc.. Organized religion is harmful to humanity and should be abhorred.
Sanatana Dharma was not meant to be that way. That is the reason it has remained here for centuries.
We are with you. It’s very evident that, these legal actions initiated by corrupt and biased Indian authorities backed by math is to prevent your entry to India. They fear if you come and give a written petition against them, the authorities will be forced to arrest Amritaswaroopananda. But, this legal actions from math/authorities reinforce the facts mentioned in the book.
All the best.
Good for you! I am so glad you have stayed with your statement in your book. You have already dropped the bomb, what would you gain, except years and years more of misery to try and “bring down Ammachi”, as I have read in many places, and take Balu to court. It seems that you have spent enough time with this, you have said your truth, exposed what you did, and now it will take its own course on its own. Taken from another viewpoint, I will assume that you have grown to a point where you see that this was an incredible learning experience in the face of your spiritual growth and maturity and in the humanness within us all in the desire to find someone who can show us our own “Self”, as god within. From whatever your basic psychological and emotional early years prepared you for, meeting a very powerful and spiritual being, (even tho you may not agree with this statement) like Ammachi, brought all of you into play, and showed you, in essence who and where you were. Very good . Now you know. Now you also know where not to get caught anymore. And I hope you haven’t built a wall around yourself, not being open to further growth. When I saw you in the John Brittas Interview, I noticed, via your body language, (because I didn’t understand the Malayalam) how you walked, conducted yourself and how you stopped when he cut into your replies, that you are very heart-centered, vulnerable and still somewhat insecure and that you haven’t reclaimed all of your power back or power newly coming, yet. So, I hope you continue with your therapy and with your spiritual search within. I think, in time, you will see all this in a different light, and different feeling. More in tune with yourself. I also noticed that you still love Ammachi. Am I wrong? I don’t think so. And that is good. It is the worse thing to hate your Guru. The 2 of you basically “grew-up” together, and your hearts are one, no matter how you think and what happened (or appeared to happen), and in the Spiritual realm, this is all a play of the Self, a play of your Spiritual opening. Ammachi had her function in this for your benefit (and she will deal with the outcome of this as she will). When you knock at the door of Awakening, it will give you what you need!! And reading your statement above, you may have realized this. There is no one else, Gail. Only you and your awakening. I hope in time, you see this as the play this is. In reading your book, I recognized a few things you went through, I also went through, although not all, (as I have been in this Spiritual reality for over 40 years, with many teachers, my Master, and a MAA.) I recognized the exhaustion and how it leaves you with very little positiveness and ultimately resentment, with doing things you before loved to do and now doing it as “your duty”, and then the loss of heart, for you, because of the hurt from the ones you loved and those trusted, and not saying things from fear of loss. It is a very painful truth to confront. And ultimately, you will see that is was all you. It is awesome to watch and see what the mind comes up with and its play, until it is seen clearly and you stop believing it.
I leave this comment with a heart full of love for you. You have been on my mind since I read your book. I had many things I wanted to say, but as I read more, they changed. Now it is clearer. I hope I have not offended you in any way by comments and that they may be of some benefit. And I am not really sure if this is the place to post all of this, but I will. I am saying this to you as a support for yourself. OM Tat Sat and Love
Thank you for offering this True Teaching.
This dream is the reflection of our own construct created by our conditioning or our own Self, depending on what has been met and not yet cleared or truly cleared.
I like your comment very very much sister Chandi… it’s almost exactly what I wanted also to say. Gratitude.
While it is true that money and ability to hire legal teams capable of matching the resources of the Ammachi Empire–
Am sorry to report that the ways to thwart profiteer gurus are to do as follows”
* Speak up and speak out — and create secure places where as many persons as possible can do so
* Governments of wealthy nations where Amma and other such super gurus go to collect hard currencies such as Euros, Pounds, US Dollars, etc should be notified of thuggish behavior by the guru’s supporters and petitions be done to deny visas to Amma and gurus of her kind if too much many damage reports come in.
* Media and persons all over the world must challenge the Indian government to monitor its super gurus – vast amounts of tourist revenue come to India via spiritual tourism and India owes it to keep gurus from becoming thugs
Thanks for bringing out the truth behind the scenes that take place in the amma cult. Whatever has happened to you and to many other silent ex-devotees, who may be afraid to speak out the truth for fear of retribution, is an outright violation of basic human rights. The issues are grave, and hope the judiciary and the government investigate the issues further and take proper action. From what I understand, the victim of sexual abuse (rape) need not file a case against the perpetrator(s), for an inquiry to take place. In your case (and many other ex-devotees of amma), the fear and intimidations from the mutt, as well as fear of a long drawn out legal battle against a powerful mafia may be blocking you from taking legal action. Let us hope that the intellectuals, free-thinkers and the human rights activists of the country pursue the matter to its legal conclusion.
CONGRATULATIONS and GOD BLESS for what you have achieved. You have indeed taken a big risk in your life. My sincere appreciations for that. The world needs people like you. Do not give up Gail. God is with you. The world needs people like you to shed light upon some of the false beliefs and practices of the human race. Please do take care of yourself and stay safe. After all the human race sins.
I feel your soul in what you write, and your passion to impart information to assist others to choose the right path. But I don’t understand why you would make these claims when you don’t wish to follow through to prove the cases through the legal justice system. All I find is that it is very confusing to people who have spent time around Amma and those that live with her and know that they too speak their truth when they defend the innocence of Amma and her swamis. All people can be influenced by is their vulnerability to put all their trust into the words of someone else. Perhaps it would have been better to not name anyone, Amma or the organisation, but to leave that up to the reader to choose to work out or not. Why make these accusations and then treat the situation as if you have done your job. Is that not just confusing and malicious? It feels like backstabbing revenge when you make such accusations but are then not willing to follow through with testifying. What kind of justice is it to make such accusations publicly and then just walk away? Why turn vulnerable, easily influenced people against an organisation that is, ultimately, helping a lot of people in the world? If your words are true, then surely it is better to see the truth clarified to the world, rather than leaving it as a big question mark.
Parvati, maybe with a few more years lived and a little bit more wisdom you may understand Gail’s decision. Makes perfect sense to me. Gail has already paid the price. She is free.
Were you blind while reading point no.3?
But for the book your 20 years of the best part of your life would have been foolishly wasted. A good book is “the precious life blood of a Master Spirit” as John Milton would say. Holy Hell is such a book.
The restraint and wisdom displayed in the book is amazing. I have no hesitation to say that this is the very best book I have read in recent years. You are a seasoned author. I salute you and wish you all the very best. You have added meaning to the lives of millions of right thinking people. Thank you.
You brave beautiful Woman! You did the right thing and may God love and protect you for that.
You definitely saved my family which was head over heels in love with this “amma”. I was finally able to exorcise this ghost from my family with your book.
Your courage is admirable.The long time you spent in the Ashram is a strong point in your favour .But would you have come out exposing the farce if you were properly taken care? Anyway better late than never. Your memoir has created History.Before Holy hell and after.Let the book be an eye opener for the naïve and young.
Satyamev Jayathe !
Welcome! Be a human with freedom.
Thanks Gail..I was in Ashram as a student when you were there.All are shocking news…I read statements of some of old inmates who supported you who are came out ashram.Truth win always…May GOD save you..
All power to you Gail. You could have just stayed quiet and disappeared into anonymity. Everyone would have forgotten and moved on. However after long years of processing and coming to terms with what happened to you, you chose to speak out and tell the truth of your experiences. Yes, writing was part of the healing and possibly so was the act of publishing your story. However you could have taken an easier option and stayed quiet. The fact that you published your story is a testament to your strength and courage. All power to you.
Congratulations on untangling yourself from what I can only imagine must have been one hell of a situation. I look forward to reading your book!
your statement will save many people from hell of sudamani, i hope gradually it will stop to peoples going there instead of the temple
Hats off to you, Gail for coming up and telling the world the truth behind the holiness. And as far as the legal proceedings.. I appreciate your decision.. because unfortunately to get justice in the largest democracy.. is a bit too hard.. might take long long years of struggle. You have done your part. You need not struggle another 20 yrs of ur life.. Live it happily and peacefully.
just finished the book. appreciate your writing gift. thank you for sharing your personal story very genuinely. May you find God you are searching for wherever you are, and always…
All the best.go head.god with you
You said it right Gail,
The ways of finding truth and spirituality are dreadful, many places you will smell blood, some times you will lose all things that are physically attached to you, but the soul remain pure, enlightened, untouched. thanks for sharing your experiences.
Congratulations Gail !!!
I’m an Indian & I feel sorry to You for the sufferings, bad treatment & exploitation You had experienced in my country. Your revelations will save thousands of innocent people from around the world and the future generations.
PROUD OF YOU GAIL , MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
Hai Gail, we’ll said. We all believe you .What you said exactly right .Take care. God bless you.
Hi Gayatri….sughamano….100% I belive you….so sorry to hear this….it happening near my house…. Good luck..
MISS. GAIL ..,
I SUPPORT YOU 100% WITH YOUR ALL HUMAN RIGHTS. YOUR PAINS YOUR SORROWS ARE LEGALLY THE FEELING OF A WOMAN LIKE OTHERS ALL OVER FROM THE WORLD.
I AM AN INDIAN CITIZEN, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY PROUDLY..,THAT “THE AMRUTHANANDAMAYI ” SHE IS DOING SOME IMMORAL ACTIVITIES EVEN AGAINST THE PEOPLE OF INDIA TOO.
SO WE ARE WAITING FOR THE JUSTICE THAT YOU GET ….
I AM WITH YOU…
by – binu joseph mayappallil.
Hi, I truely believe you. I can able to find the innocence in your face than so called “amma”. Twenty years is not a short period. Lots of respect and love towards you. Thanks and regards.
thank you for your hard work and for shining your light on our path; with your book you will inspire many more to promote truth the best we can every day. Yes you have done your part; we wait for your book to be translated into Indian languages especially into Malayalam! That will have an even stronger impact! Let us find a publisher that courage to do print it.
Congratulation……but i have one dought,,why after the long 20 years??????
Legal system is for who has more money modern democracy is for Corporate owners. But ultimately truth will prevail. People who have thinking power will realize the facts.After all this ordeal relax and enjoy rest of your life.
Well don ….
Thank you for your book…
Absolutely, you are right. You shared 20 years of your life and this is a good lesson for all who believed the ‘Amma’ . Once again thanks to you for shared these.
We all ,who have read ” Holly Hell ” , having trust on you 100 %.
You are a genuine character, wonderfully. No doubt. Let the ” Blind ” believers open their eyes.
Thank you for being sincere and your willingness to stand by truth. You have done your duty to the world though it took sometime for you to reveal the facts to the world.
The Quran states: O man! There is absolutely no doubt that by dint of your own experiments and observation, you will ultimately reach the Divine Order which has the responsibility for nourishing all humanity. However, this shall happen only after a lot of striving and strenuous effort. (84:6). The process will take time, but ultimately (at an evolutionary pace) the humanity will reach the divine order. In the battle between Haqq (truth) and Baathil (falsehood), it is the LAW of ALLAH that only what is benefitial for the humanity will ultimately prevail (13:17).
Take care always and don’t worry about anything. Stay by the truth always.
Good luck Gail,
Your book a big lesson for the people who blindly follow such fraud organisations.
we are with you.
You are right in saying you have done your part. The important thing is you had the courage to write about the things that happened to you. After do many years is not the point, you had the courage to write and come out in the open is the main point. I really salute you for this. Also this is not about revenge, you wrote what you have experienced, I hope people read and take a lesson not to fall for things that take them away from family. Take care Gail.
Well said Gail! 🙂 nothing but respect for you.
Reallly a perfect book for spiritual seekers..
God bless you, and hope you find peace within your life for long:)
Thank you..thank you for your courage 🙂
Well said Gail, be strong….stay safe, take care.
We all support you Gail. Good people and god will always with you. God bless you. Takecare
To fall for any of these icons – self -declared mothers, Mother of Auroville, Mother Theresa, Mata Amrithanandamayi et al, elevate them beyond one’s biological mother is an affront to motherhood and the feminine just as to expect a human to worship another human is a crme against human-ness. Mothers want children to feed on to remain in their motherhood and we sacrifice the ADULT on this altar of worshipping people in pursuit of power. Where are the adults ?
Do equate Mother Theresa with such. One’s life (openly and secretly) and the way one dies proves one’s sanctity. Mother Theresa has passed all these in flying colors.
Absolutely..!! Absolutely you have done your part. But, You must remember one thing. One what happened to you in 20 years must not happen to another person.. That’s so important. I know it’s your decision to file a complaint or not.. You believe in Justice, Karma. It’s not about punishing an individual or an organization. It’s about correcting something and expecting it doesn’t happen again. I can understand. It’s just a book written by you, on your 20 years of life, but, to many of us it’s more than that. I know how hard is for you to do something like this. You might be having life threat, but, if you believe in Karma and if you believe or love people just take a small action against it. It’s not for giving punishment to anyone. It’s just to save the future of other people.. We don’t want to see another Gail who waste the good 20 years of their life.
Congratulations on your liberation! You are not alone! Thank you for your work, many will be helped by it.
Beautifully stated. Your honesty and courage are gift enough. Good luck, Gail.
I agree with Gail. She has done her part telling her story and her experience. Nothing else is needed. Let the chips fall as they are destined.
Much love to you – and all involved.
“In the modern world, legal justice is not about dharma but about who has more money, the better lawyers and more influence”
You said it Gail.
Hope more people come out with revelations and more Godmen will be exposed in public and justice will prevail one day.
“Truth always Triumphs” is the Motto of India , aspired from the words of Raja Harisschandra( from Mahabharatha). I sincerely hope one day I can really find the real meaning of those words in my mother country.
Wonderfully said, thank you for the clarification! We stand by you 100%. Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!
Yes, there’s no point in coming and filing a case, for it requires a lot of efforts, time and money to get justice in India. I read your book and it sounded genuine. We want you to get justice. But considering the situation, your mental state and safety, it’s better to be away from all this mess and lead a peaceful life. If whatever you said is true, sooner or later the culprits will have to pay the price. …